I am sometimes so shy it hurts to be out in public. I have to psych myself to speak to people, say at the bookstore or remember not to look like a deer in the headlights when I am paying for something at Duane Reade. I am usually personable, not being self-promoting here, but it’s like I have to work at it. I guess one of my goals should be to try and be more at ease in the world, but who is really? I think by just getting out there and being part of society is a big step. The weird thing was that in junior high and high school, I was always pretty involved with everyone. I floated from group to group, albeit stuck mainly with the nerdier ones. I was grounded all the time for being on the phone too long (3-way calling man, the way to go). Something happened to screw with my confidence and I wish I could pinpoint it. I am slowly regaining it back, but every step forward is fraught with things that stop the flow of progress. It’s got more to do with me than anyone, and I hope that me trying counts for something. This is where my goal for getting more courage kicks in. grin